Human
by Casteline
Summary: Something has caused the impala to take human form. Naturally, chaos ensues. Destiel, Dean/Impala


**I'm gonna be posting a lot this week. This is the only the start of Destiel Week. I'll be posting at least once a day, probably more like twice. This is probably the longest of the pieces though. **

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

**Human**

Sam awoke to Dean screaming. Sam, being the hunter he was, jumped out of bed, prepared to fight demons, or run from cops, or something. Instead…

"Where the hell is my car, Sammy?" Dean cried.

"_What_?"

"My baby, Sam, where is she?"

"Let me get this straight," Sam said, rubbing his eyes. "You woke me up because you can't find your car?"

"Sam, this is serious!" Dean exclaimed. "And not just because she's _my car_."

Sam closed his eyes and sighed. "If anyone finds the arsenal in the trunk…"

There was a knock at the door.

Sam and Dean raised their eyebrows at each other. Dean moved toward the door, while Sam reached for his gun.

"Hi, guys," the man on the other side of the door greeted happily. "I brought breakfast," he said, holding up a bag from the local burger joint and a tray of coffee.

Bean blinked a few times. "Who the hell are you?"

The man frowned slightly. "You don't recognize me?"

Dean gave a confused look at Sam, who looked equally perplexed, then slammed the door closed in the man's face. They had bigger problems to deal with than some nutjob.

Before they could move on though, there came a knocking sound from the window. Dean wretched open the curtains to find the man with his face pressed against the glass.

"Dude, what the hell?"

"Dean!" the man exclaimed. "You really don't recognize me?"

Dean pulled open the door and dragged the man in by his collar.

"Alright, who the hell are you, and how do you know who I am?"

"Of course I know who you are. And Sam. We grew up together."

Sam and Dean exchanged another confused expression.

"Oh, come on, you really don't recognize me?"

"Sorry dude, never seen you before in my life," Dean said. "Who the hell are you?"

"It's me, Dean, your Impala."

(Human)

"You can't be the Impala," Dean said.

"We've seen weirder," Sam said. Dean sent him a glare. He knew full well they probably had seen weirder, but that was _so_ not the point.

"I can't explain it," _The Impala_ said. "One minute I was a car, the next minute I'm lying outside this motel, very much _aware_."

"But it's not possible," Dean said. "Besides. If my baby were to turn into a human, she'd be, well, for starters, a she."

_The Impala_ blinked a few times. "You don't think I'm attractive?" he asked, clearly taken aback.

Sam snorted.

"It's not that," Dean said after a moment. The man was attractive. Very attractive. Tall, dark hair, bright blue eyes. And damn did he look good in leather. "But, I was expecting more, you know…" He held he hands up to his chest to indicate that he'd been expecting a woman with a huge rack.

Sam rolled his eyes and put his face in his hands.

"Look," he said. "Can you, you know, _prove_ that you're the Impala?"

"Sure I can. I was born April 24st 1967. I was first owned by Sal Moriarty. He sold bibles, tried to prepare people for judgment day. Ironic, don't you think. Then John Winchester bought me. Wouldn't have, if it hadn't been for you," he added, nodding at Dean. "I wasn't joking when I said I grew up with you. I can answer any question about anything that's happened since before you two were born. Oh! I know," he said, taking off his coat.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked.

"Showing you this," he said, holding up a very muscular arm. On the inside of his bicep, the letters _SW_ and _DW_ were roughly etched. "You guys did that when you were, what, 5 and 9?"

"Dude," Sam said in awe.

"You believe me now?"

"I need a beer," Dean replied.

(Human)

"What did Bobby have to say?" Sam asked when Dean returned.

"He's looking into it," Dean replied. "I got the distinct impression that he wanted to see it for himself though."

"I think you mean _him_," Sam corrected, grinning widely.

"Shut up. Where is he anyway?"

"Discovering the wonders of the bathroom. Come on, you have to admit, this is pretty amazing."

"I just want my car!" Dean exclaimed.

"I know, but-"

"Don't. Whatever you're going to say, just don't. I don't care how amazing or awesome or fantastic or whatever this is. Clearly some weird mojo is going on here, and we need to figure out what so we can get my car back."

"Fine," Sam said, throwing his hands up in surrender. Despite just how unique, and frankly, amusing, the situation was, Dean was right. There was something serious going on, and their first priority was figuring out what.

(Human)

Unfortunately, it did not prove to be so easy. They Winchesters retracted their steps through the entire case they'd just worked and found nothing that even hinted at an explanation to the newfound humanness of their car.

Speaking of whom, The Impala followed the boys around, utterly in awe at the world as he could now see it. Everything looked different from the perspective of a human.

"Hey," Dean exclaimed when The Impala found a dog and tried to lick it. "We don't lick dogs!"

"Oh," The Impala said, somewhat confused as he set the dog back on the ground.

"I think you need a name," Sam said when he rejoined them.

"But I already have a name," The Impala said plainly.

"Really? You do?"

"Yes. Dean always calls me _Baby_."

Sam let out a loud, unattractive snort.

"Shut up," Dean said, glaring at his little brother. "And that's not a _name_."

"But it's what you call me. It's what you've always called me."

"Yes, bu-"

"I think it's a nice name," Sam said, grinning wildly.

Dean glared. However, before he could argue any further, his phone began ringing.

"Hello?" He paused. "Yeah, Haven, Maine. Corner of…" he paused and looked around. "Seventh and Montgomery."

Not a moment later, Castiel appeared.

"Hey, Cas," Sam said as Dean pocketed his phone.

"Hello, Castiel," Baby said, grinning. Castiel stared at him in shock and confusion.

"Cas, this is-"

"Baby," Baby interrupted.

"I know who you are," Castiel said, staring at him as if trying to understand. "I just do not understand how."

"Yeah, neither do we," Sam said.

"We were kinda hoping you would be able to shed some light."

"I am unable," Castiel said. "Whatever has cause this to happen is beyond my knowledge."

"So you have no idea?"

"Not 'no idea'," Cas said. "Just none that make sense."

(Human)

"So, you're pretty strong," Sam said a week later. They'd been hunting an ogre a few town over and Baby had singlehandedly taken out two of them, while Dean and Sam got beat up by a third.

"He's a _muscle_ car," Dean said, somewhat defensively. "Not a Prius."

Sam snorted. It seemed that the situation was getting funnier by the day.

"_What? _What is so funny?" Dean asked, clearly outraged rather than amused.

"Just that… well, you've got two supercharged boyfriends. Its kinda funny."

Dean blinked. "I've got… I will hit you."

Sam laughed again. Dean's phone rang.

"Please tell me you have something, Bobby," Dean answered. Judging by the way his shoulders fell, Bobby didn't have any answers.

"He doesn't like my being here," Baby said quietly, while Dean wandered the room, arguing with Bobby.

"It's not that," Sam said, trying to be comforting. "It's just strange. And, you know, he likes driving, well, _you_. He hates that Trailblazer we stole."

"Yeah…"

"Oh, come on," Sam said. "Don't be like that. He loves you." Sam stopped for a moment to actually _think_ about what he'd just said. What had lead to _that_ being a perfectly normal thing to say, with regard to his brother?

"As a car, yes. But not like this."

"Like I said, it's just weird."

Dean hung up with Bobby and rejoined his brother and his car at the table, a frustrated look on his face.

"He's got nothing. Nothing useful anyway."

At that moment, Castiel appeared. He looked rather uncomfortable and seemed to be avoiding all eye contact with Baby, as he gave the brothers an update on the status of heaven.

"Have you heard anything about, _you know_…"

"I'm sitting right here, Dean," Baby pointed out. "And I'm not stupid. I know you're talking about me."

"I have found nothing," Cas said.

Sam sighed as his stomach grumbled. "I'm gonna make a food run. Want anything, Cas?"

Castiel shook his head. "I should return to Heaven."

With that, he was gone.

"I think he hates me more than you do," Baby told Dean.

"I don't – Why would either of us hate you?"

"Because I am not what you want from me," he said. "And he views me as… as a threat."

Dean made a strange face. "Why would he see you as a threat?"

Baby closely examined the confusion in Dean's eyes.

"You really don't know? Huh. Didn't see that coming."

(Human)

Three weeks later, Baby was still a human, and the boys were no closer to solving the mystery. However, Dean and Baby were getting along much better. So much better, in fact, that Sam was not at all worried when he left the two of them outside drinking, while he went to phone another hunter. (He had been leery of leaving them alone for too long, because the last time he'd done that, they'd gotten into a fight, and, well, Baby was a hell of a lot stronger than Dean.)

"You know what," Dean said. "I think I've grown to actually like you, Baby."

Baby looked at Dean in shock.

"What?" Dean asked, taking a swig of beer.

"What did you say?"

"That I like you. You know, as a person. You aren't too bad."

"No, I mean, after that. You called me _Baby_."

"So?"

"You… you haven't done that. Not since I was a car."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Don't make a chick flick moment out of this," he warned.

"No, of course not," Baby, said, but he was grinning.

(Human)

"I like this car," Dean said, as he and Baby sat on the hood of their latest car, a '69 Marauder. "I mean, she's not… _you_. But she's nice. I like it."

"She's a trashy whore," Baby muttered.

Dean laughed. Then, suddenly, Dean was kissing Baby on the hood of that trashy whore. Dean knew it was him who had initiated the kiss, but he'd surprised even himself with it.

"What was that for?" Baby asked when they pulled apart. He was slightly flushed, but smiling.

(Human)

"You okay, Cas?" Sam asked when the angel appeared in their motel.

"I am…" Castiel began. "I feel like I am choking. Drowning?" Human emotions were so hard to put a label on, so difficult to identify.

"Cas?"

"I'm fine," Castiel said, shaking the feeling away.

"You sure?"

Castiel nodded.

"Okay. Did you have something for us?"

"I… um…"

Sam smiled in a way that was all to understanding. "You don't have to have a reason, you know. It's cool for you to just stop by to, you know, hang out."

"Hang out?" Castiel asked, enunciating the statement oddly, as though trying to dissect its meaning. "No. I… I should go."

"Ooookaaay," Sam said slowly, but Cas was already gone.

(Human)

It wasn't until several hours later that he discovered what was probably the reason for Castiel's odd behavior. Dean and Baby had rejoined him at the end of the day, after several hours of research (Sam's been at his computer most of that time, while Dean and Baby questioned people and investigated crime scenes), and they're just a little too friendly, a little too touchy.

"Oh my god," Sam said, outraged, once Baby had left to get food.

"What?" Dean asked, slightly frightened by his outburst.

"You're – you – _seriously dude?_"

"_Dude_," Dean said back. "Use real words. Didn't they teach you anything at college?"

"You're boning Baby!"

Dean blinked several times. "Where the _fuck_ did you get that idea?"

"Well, you are, aren't you," Sam accused.

"_No_."

"What about Cas?" Sam asked, ignoring his answer.

"_What about_ – What the hell does he have to do with whether or not I sleep with my car? Which I didn't, for the record."

"Aaargh," Sam said, using all of his restraint to not slam his head (or, better yet, Dean's) into the table. "You're so _thick_."

"Excuse me?"

"You're such an idiot," Sam reiterated. "I can't believe you would do something like this."

"I didn't do anything!"

"But you're thinking about. You want to. _Something_."

"So what if I do?" Dean replied after a moment.

Sam let out a loud groan as he practically ran from the room, utterly frustrated. They needed to find out what had cause this, and _fast_.

(Human)

Three nights later, Sam awoke from a rather strange dream. But something about that dream…

"Dean," he said urgently.

"What is it?" Baby asked from the table. He was sitting at Sam's laptop, surfing the internet for god knew what, like he did every night. He didn't need sleep, which Sam and Dean sometimes envied.

"_Dean_," Sam said again, throwing one of his socks at his brother.

"Whaat?" Dean asked, rolling over. "If you're waking me up to tell me that Baby's discovered porn, I already know."

Sam shot an annoyed look at Baby. "Ew. Dude, no. When you talked to Bobby about this situation, what did he say?"

"He hasn't said anything about it in weeks," Dean said, sleepily.

"I know," Sam said. "But what did he say initially. You said he didn't have anything useful, but what did he say exactly?"

Dean shrugged and rubbed his eyes. "I don't know man. Something about the only things powerful enough to pull something like this would be an angel, but they would have no reason to do so. Can I sleep now?"

"No. Call for Cas."

"Why don't _you_ call for Cas?" Dean shot back, tired and annoyed.

"Because he'll answer you."

Dean sighed. "Cas," he called. "Castiel, get your feathery ass down here so Sam will let me sleep."

A moment later, Castiel appeared.

"What is it?" he asked.

Dean waved lazily in Sam's direction as he rolled over to go back to sleep.

"Cas," Sam said. "Is it possible that Gabriel is still alive?"

At that, Dean was awake and sitting up, facing the rest of the room.

"You think _Gabriel's_ behind this?" he asked.

(Human)

"Took you boys long enough," Gabriel grinned, appearing in their motel.

"So you are alive," Sam said, somewhat smugly.

"Of course I am. You think a little angel sword is enough to kill me?" He looked around the room. "Where's Castiel? I thought for sure it was he who summoned me."

"That was us," Sam said. "He's still running around Heaven trying to see if you're alive."

"That'll take him a nice long while. Like I'd let those lunatics know my whereabouts. Now, what can I do for you all?"

"Well, you could start by _changing him back_," Dean said.

Gabriel turned to look at Baby. "You don't like him? I thought you'd love him."

"He was a car, Gabriel," Sam said. "He was never supposed to be a human."

Gabriel sighed. "Fine. He was never supposed to be permanent, anyway. Just a bit of fun with my favorite hunters." He raised his fingers, about to snap.

"Wait," Baby said. Sam and Dean looked at him in surprise. Gabriel seemed to be expecting the interruption.

"Come on, man," Sam started.

"No," Baby said. "I'm gonna let you do it. It's what I want. Just… Can I have a few minutes?"

"Last few moments as a man," Gabriel said, nodding. "Use them wisely."

Baby nodded and exited the motel. Dean couldn't help but follow.

(Human)

Baby barely kissed him back before pushing him away.

"Don't," he said.

"Not like you to object," Dean said. "Thought you'd want one last kiss, before you're all un-human-y again."

"I did. But I don't. I do. I mean… human emotions are difficult."

"Yeah," Dean nodded.

"Promise me something, Dean," Baby said.

"Sure."

"Don't let him get away."

"What?"

"Castiel," baby clarified. "A few weeks ago, I told you that he saw me as a threat, and you didn't understand why. _This_," he indicated to the closeness of them. "Is what I was talking about. You're blind to it, but he's in love with you. And don't try to deny that you're in love with him to, because I see the way you look at him. I've always seen it, even before I was human."

"He doesn't-" Dean started.

"Don't give me that. I _know_. Why do you think he hardly comes around anymore? He used to look for reasons to stop by, even if only for a few minutes. Just to see you. But ever since I've been human, he avoids you. He only comes when you need something, and he doesn't stay any longer than absolutely necessary. He doesn't even look at me. He hates me, because I'm standing in the way."

Dean gaped at him. He didn't even know how to properly respond to that.

"Don't let him get away. You love him, and he needs to hear that," Baby concluded, before walking back into the motel.

"Dean," Castiel's voice said a few moments later, interrupting his thoughts.

"Yeah, Cas," Dean asked, turning to face him, though he was still lost in the words Baby had said only moments before.

"I have found no evidence that Gabriel is still alive. Dean? Are you okay?"

Dean shook himself. "Yeah, Cas," he half smiled as he looked up at Cas. "I'm fine."

"Dean," Castiel said in surprise, only just noticing what was behind him. "Your car has returned to its proper form."

Dean turned to the Impala and smiled.

"You are… happy?" Castiel asked.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I had thought…" Cas began, unsure how to put it into words. "I thought you and he had _shared_ something."

Dean looked at Cas again, searching his face.

"They were right," he said. "I was _such_ an idiot."

"What are you -" Cas began, but was cut off by Dean's lips pressing against his own.


End file.
